Dog tags and the evil that lies within
This week’s edition of Fashion Victim 101 is all about accessories and the perils that inherently come with wearing them. We at La Moda love accessories. They polish our look and show everyone else what our character is made of.
Jewellery gives the world a glimpse of our sophistication. Scarves provide warmth and splash colour on an otherwise boring outfit. Bags allow us to haul an eccentric set of essentials without having carry a plastic bag around like a homeless person. However, as with everything else, we are of the opinion that accessories be used only under the following circumstances: 1.) they look good on you, 1.) you can pull them off, and 3.) you don’t look like an annoying poser when you’re wearing them.
Most accessories are meant to improve the overall appearance of the person wearing them, but a few defy this purpose. The dog tag is a case in point. Dog tags have become a common staple in the accessories collection of designers who envision a set of customers who like putting together a mysterious, edgy, and gruff exterior.
Used as an informal form of identification and worn by military personnel, the dog tag has a history that goes as far down as the American Civil War in the 19th century. Fabricated from corrosion-resistant material such as aluminium or stainless steel, the dog tag was more of a requirement to go out on the field than an expression of one’s personality. It allowed people to identify exactly who a dead soldier was.
This is where we have a predicament. The moment you put a dog tag around your neck, you instantly look like you’re pretending to be someone from the military. A poser. Once you look like a poser, you can’t pull anything off. And if you can’t pull anything off, nothing can look good on you. The fact that wearing dog tags negates all conditions under which an accessory can be worn dictates that dog tags as a fashion statement are stupid.
Another problem is that even if you somehow overcome the irrefutable logic that has just been presented and insist on wearing them, most dog tags being sold by brands worth your time are ridiculously overpriced. Take a look at that dog tag above by D&G. That stainless steel contraption costs about AED 700 ($185). Is it worth that much to wanna look like a poser? We don’t know. If you think it’s worth taking the risk, you might wanna look at this David Yurman piece pictured on the right.
Engraved with almost eight carats of black diamonds, this dog tag costs a hefty AED 16,560 ($4,500). David Yurman crafts a lot of interesting pieces of jewelry and this is definitely not one of them. Putting diamonds on something supposedly as utilitarian as a dog tag is not only tacky and nouveau riche, it’s just plain bleh. It’s like it doesn’t know what it’s trying to achieve.
You’re going to end up confusing people, not telling them more about who you really are.
Don’t be a fashion victim.
Photos courtesy of Saks Fifth Avenue